||[Sep. 11th, 2005|10:24 pm]
So. Someone did a no call/no show. No one could come in and/or wouldn't call back. It was 2 people on the floor my whole shift on a SUNDAY morning. The ice machine broke with a line to the door for 4-5 consecutive hours and 10-20 drinks on the bar to be made at all times. I vented, and i'm okay, aside from soreness and tiredness.
I've been watching stuff about 9/11 on the Discovery and History channel since I got off work today. I couldn't even get a nap in because of the riveting footage and stories that had my eyes glued to the television all afternoon and evening. Had me reminiscing on the live news footage caught back in 2001 when I lived in sacramento as I awoke on the couch that september morning hearing it on the news in my sleep, as I always left my tv on when I fell asleep, and then awakening to it not being a bad dream, but reality. Today, and in watching stuff on 9/11 brought back all of the sadness of that day. Made me really upset on the verge of tears...and glad that I have the people I have in my life right now. Reminds me of why it is I always say "I Love You" before I get off the phone with friends and/or family, so that if ever anyone I knew and loved were to leave this life at any given moment, I would want them to know how much I loved them. I've never taken anything or anyone for granted, and for that I am able to sleep at night.
The hours following my horrible day at work, with the rememberance of 9/11 on tv, my day just didn't seem so bad anymore. Sure I was tired, stressed, and on the verge of tears from my ultimate day from hell, the whatever could go wrong, will go wrong, and DID go wrong type of day, but...BUT, I came out alive and that much stronger, and in my opinion, pretty damn kick ass because I made due and stayed calm under pressure, and if ever a thing to be proud of myself in the workplace, is that of my calm and cool exterior during times of high volume and stress...and for that I am proud.
I've had some pretty rough days at work, but in a little under two weeks the love of my life will be in my arms once again and I couldn't be any happier in that anticipation. I've been thinking about all of the times in the past he has made me smile, the times when i'd gotten giddy with my girlfriends about him, the times I subconsciously tricked myself into thinking I didn't like him but would fall asleep thinking about him and if I were lucky, dream a little dream of him. I've been thinking about every single moment I spent with him, and the moments we have yet to share, and think about how truly and sincerely happy I was, and still am, to have him in my life now and hopefully forever.
Victor Javier Ochoa, Saying "I Love You" doesn't even scratch the surface of my feelings for you. It's like trying to squeeze us into 3 small little words. What does it mean? I love you I love you I love you. Sometimes, I feel like i'm so in love with you, that all I say is I Love you I Love you I Love you. "I Love You" means how your body feels curled up behind me in bed, or when you're in front of me, how I love to shower you with kisses. It is very important for me to express to you how much you really mean to me. I wish I could do this in person while you hold me in your arms, gazing into eachothers eyes. But since we are physically separated by miles of emptiness, this expression must come in the form of words such as these. This is all very difficult for me, as I know it is for you, to be separated for so long. Life is of that, trials of this kind which test our inner strength and more importantly our love and devotion for one another. After all, it is said that True Love is boundless and immeasurable and overcomes all forms of adversity and in that truth, if it is genuine as I feel our love is, we will grow stronger with each assault. Our love will continue to be assaulted and I am convinced our love is true as the longer I am away from you the greater my yearning to be with you again. You, my love, are my prince charming and I will be your devoted princess if you will continue to have me. I cherish every thought of you, prize every memory that rises in the depths of my mind, and live for the day when our physical separation will no longer be. Until that moment I will continue to send to you across the miles my tender love, my warm embrace through my sweater, and my passionate kisses.
I Love You Sweetheart :)